Chaos Digitized

It's getting to be that time of year when people resolve to be better, do better, lose weight, and so on. In the last year, I've done exactly one thing I set out to do. I got a new job. I haven't left my husband. I haven't written my novel. I haven't traveled. I haven't been good to myself in general. I have a plan. I'm working the plan. But I'm bogged down by circumstance, depression, anxiety, and my overall buy-in to the belief that I'm not good enough. It's overwhelming. I'm going to therapy. It helps some. I'm going to my writer's group.  It helps too. But the help from those two things are sometimes (always) outweighed by the guilt trips I get for having done those two small things. I'm such a downer. But.  The point is. I recognize this fact.  I recognize the problems. And my new plan is to form new habits. I will write twice a week for my blog. I will write weekly to contribute to my writers group. I will...

Good news: I got a new job. Bad news: I didn't have time to write even when I didn't have a job. So... What do I do? I just have to find time for me. Make time. Be better to myself.  Coz god (little g) knows I'm the only one who will. ..... So,  the job? There's a couple of hotties there and.... one of the hotties has a deep sexy voice that carries through the office like the smell of fresh baked cookies.  Positively delicious.  And you know my well-documented sock-whore tendencies?  Well i'm also a voice whore.  So I really hope he's one of those that has to talk his way through tax returns. Nom fuckin nom, baby. Voice carrying like the fragrance of cookies.... hmm... need to write a poem about the voice . Stay tuned! Sorry for the short, long overdue post. Melikelikimaka CD