Chaos Digitized

This whole "All by Myself" thing would be going about a billion times better if I were actually all by myself - and didn't have two (adult??) anchors weighing me down. His mower died.  Last year.  The yard hasn't been cut since LAST FUCKING YEAR. Ok. So we live in Florida (I think that was at least implied earlier in the blog). This place claims to be the sunshine state - but in all actuality, it's the rain-every-fucking-afternoon state and... to be completely honest, the hurricane-and-blown-down-fucking-trees state. Fun, right? Fun fact about biology in a place where it rains buckets on the daily. Shit GROWS. The rain forest is the rain FOREST. Not the rain cute-little-perfectly-manicured garden. So... I've been trying to fix the mower.  No luck. Been trying to get it fixed. Well, apparently somebody hit something and damaged it beyond repair (unless I'm Ms. Moneybags... spoiler: I'm not). So I researched.  And researched.  And I bought a mo...

I have a friend from my hometown... known him all my life, basically.  Kindergarten up... and we were friendly in school, never really super close- ran in different circles- but would always stop to say hi and "howsyourmomandthem" when we'd see each other when i was working there well after graduation.  Facebook close- I'd watch his kids growing up in pictures and he did the same with me. Well.  He came to town... god, he was like xanax and cold sweet tea and grandma's front porch all rolled up into the fattest blunt imaginable.  I left him feeling better than I've felt in months.  No guilt- nothing was done to feel guilty about. I even fucking smiled.  Now, dear reader,  I have to be completely honest with you... even when I try to lie to myself.. I got excited when he asked me to come out.  Not like,  this is an old friend that wants to catch up kind of way. You should know this... He's smart and funny and has these incredibly sexy ...