New Year, New Chaos

When I was a kid, I thought that the parents in my life had it all figured out.  My mom,  the parents on the band bus, whatever.

As I approach (and surpass * tiny dramatic  gasp*) the ages that they were when I was looking up to them, I honestly *do* have it all figured out. Nobody really ever has it figured out.


I think my kids know.  They're way more sophisticated than I ever thought about being.  Of course, I haven't exactly been hiding it lately either. Between full days of crying in my room and time unable to prove to myself that I'm worthy of anything at all. 


Therapy, meds, friends....


I have to take better care of myself.  I have to do better for my kids.  Sounds dangerously close to a resolution (in which I don't believe).  When it comes down to it, it's an ongoing aspiration. Better for myself, better for my kids... constant improvement. 


And cuddles, maybe? 


Just keep swimming. 

Moving forward. 

Move...

C.D.

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