torn... torn into itty bitty pieces

So I want a divorce. I need a divorce. I need to be free from... well... the bad. I want to be able to like H as a friend and coparent.
And I want him happy. He deserves happiness.
methinks he deserves an itchy rash on his junk that gives him shooting pain upon any sexual desire too... but that's fucking mean.

But goddamn it I want to be happy too.

I don't expect my life to be sunshine and rainbows.  I'm just tired of the miserable.

I'm broken enough that I don't believe in love at the present... but then again i'm not so sure I love myself either...

And with that said, lemme go to my klonopin bottle and slow down the anxiety/depression/stress-induced heart palpitations.
Single dose, baby.  I'm not currently on a self-harm kick.
goddamn it, ..i'm earning my blog name today....

Total fucking Chaos
.....should've seen me last night... more chaos......
peace, that nasty L word, and Sparkly shit,
C.D.

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