Today, lunch break chaos

I'm taking my mom to dinner tonight for her birthday. Me and the girls. Husband doesn't want to show his face because.. Well... You know.

I'm tired of having to separate my life so completely. Right down the middle like I'm hiding a shameful secret from the "good" parts of my life.

Things I'm thankful for: a job, a roof, audiobooks
Things I'm not too keen on: double lives, commuting, having no real outlet.

Things have to change. I don't know how much longer I can fake it.
My firm sent out a questionnaire and one question struck me as more profound than it was probably intended. "What animal do you identify with most?" I chose a flamingo. Not because I feel like I'm bright, flamboyant, or in any way special... But because I'm there, conspicuous, balancing on one foot, pretending to be something I'm not (in the case of our pink friend, a harmless plant) just to survive.

Maybe I should start painting plastic flamingos like they're different things... Or use them as canvases to show the chaos in my head? My girls think I'm obsessed with flamingos already, they'd lose it if I had the plastic ones all over my house.

I don't know.
I honestly don't know anything anymore.

TTFN (ooh, my sister in law would flip if I painted a flamingo like Tigger!)

Pure Chaos, ladies and gents.
C.D.

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