Twice in a day?

I'm trying so goddamn hard to make things work. But sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that is. Why do I frigging try?

I'm a glutton for punishment. Or too scared to make a change. Or just a fucking moron.

I'm smart.... I swear I am. I'm witty, I'm funny, I'm valuable. I just can't keep myself convinced of that, so nobody else really sees it.

Maybe my weekend needs to be compromised of self-affirmations and role-playing. "Yes, [redacted], I think a 20% raise would be a great start! And I really appreciate your hiring of a tall, handsome bookkeeper to work directly under me, if you'll pardon the innuendo." "I'm not a total fake" "I'm not the biggest loser on the planet"
Mumbo jumbo fucking nonsense.

I need to grow a spine, wise up, and quit giving more of myself than I actually have to give.

But yeah, I need a raise in any case. Mama's got bills bills bills bills bills.

C.D.

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